life is a colorful carousel.

A rock of recovery, that is. I know, it’s been an incredibly long time since I posted anything at all. But I’ve been in a treatment program for the past month, and finally felt like it was time to write something down. 

I cannot describe or articulate how grateful I am to the treatment team, my mom, and especially the lovely people at slc I left behind for their love and support. And almost 2 months into my recovery, I’m seeing how far I have come. But I’m also seeing how much more I have to go. 

I’m starting a new partial hospitalization program in a week, one that’s closer to home and puts a lot more responsibility on me and how I handle my recovery. That really scares me. But I need to be steering this ship, and I want to get better. Sometimes it takes something this intense to make you realize just how much you need to take care of YOU. 

Every day is a battle, but every day is also an opportunity to kick this disease right in the ass. And though there have been more days when I want to throw in the towel, I refuse to give up. So thank you so much to those of you who have been so loving and caring while I go on this process. I can’t wait to look back on these days and say “Look how far I’ve come.” It’ll happen. 

Take care, everyone <3 

I went to my final weigh-in before Spring Break starts, and I lost another four pounds. As of right now, I am borderline underweight for someone my height. After a very intense couple of hours talking to my nurse, the health services people, and my mom over the phone, we decided the best thing for me to do is to leave school. 

I need to be taking care of myself, and I cannot do that here. So I am leaving SLC tomorrow morning on medical leave, and will be in an inpatient program at a facility in California. It honestly breaks my heart, and terrifies me to know that I’ll be going home, and not even be home. And not even be at school for the rest of the semester. But I am slowly wasting away, and I need to get better. The right way. 

For all of those who supported me on here for the last few months, you are wonderful and lovely and I hope to be back on Tumblr soon, healthy and happy and recovering. I love each and every one of you. 

Infinite x’s and o’s, 

Tassa